“Why are we so fascinated with water?”

Fiona’s list of story ideas – ideas the then 19 year old fledgling journalist thought she might be able to pitch to magazines – made us laugh so much when she read it out at the last Oh Dear Diary, we asked for permission to reproduce it here… in all its Alan Partridge-esque glory.

  1. Weather in layman’s language: tornadoes, hurricanes, aurora borealis. Intriguing aspect of the gods playing games.

  3. What are the people who travel the bus really like?

  5. How do you cope with the realisation of our relative insignificance?

  7. Journalists! A writer’s defence.

  9. How important is money? Are our values corrupted? Is the pursuit of attaining money blown out of all proportion?

  11. The mind: some true facts.

  13. Witchcraft today. Yes, it does exist!

  15. If intelligent life exists elsewhere, then how come we have no ocular, indamnable proof?

  17. Why have denominational religions? It’s so picky and petty!

  19. Will the Third World ever catch up? Do they want to?

  21. Telekinesis. Can you do it?

  23. Why do stereotypes vary from one country to another?

    • Italians: passionate, fiery, hot-blooded
    • French: romantic, sexy
    • English: staid, awkward, cultured
    • Americans: loud, brash, don’t care, fun-loving
    • Chinese: wise
    • Irish: warm hearted, backward, generous

  25. Chivalry, billet-doux, courting, wooing, asking for the girl’s hand. Does the man at large still practise these thoughtful traditions?

  27. The changing face of parties.

  29. Legal ages: are they correct or do they need changing?

  31. Why are we so fascinated with water?

  33. What’s going to happen when the human race runs out of things to taint, pervert, explore and create? STAGNANCY may be a future reality.

  35. Exploding the myths about poetry.

  37. Armies. A cause of war?

  39. The fun of rebelling: in school, in camp*, in work, in society, in life. The stigma of being unconventional.

* Fiona tells us the diary was written in Camp Windigo in Indiana, 1987.

You can watch the Fiona’s full reading from that night on YouTube (the list starts at about three minutes in).

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